under $15

XX. Hamilton Wine Group
1999 Pinot Noir
Synergy - South Australia $14
A solid core of plums and spice. Excellent intro to pinot. Like buying a Kit-Kat and getting an extra finger.

X. Hamilton Wine Group
2000 Pinot Noir
Synergy - South Australia $12
All this sweet, juicy raspberry with hints of musk sticks and citrus bits - like a mixed bag from the corner store.

x. Tyrell's Wines
2000 Pinot Noir
Old Winery Hunter Valley - NSW $14
Some cherry fruit and cold meat notes, touch of green olives. Best to try it with anchovy pizza.

$15 - $22

X. Fox River
1998 Pinot Noir
Mt Barker - Western Australia $19
Smells like something The Body Shop makes into an oil and sells to teenage girls in shopping malls; plums, violets and small red berries.

x. Massoni Homes
1999 Pinot Noir
Mornington Peninsula - Victoria $21
Rather flat nose with sweet wood. Lots of tannin and body. Complex structure; Gerard Depardieu in character if not in looks.

Xx. Wolf Blass
1999 Pinot Noir
Adelaide Hills - South Australia $15
Like a weird-arse scene from Twin Peaks - dark forest notes, dark cherry palate and hints of green.

$22 - $35

X. Bannockburn
1998 Pinot Noir
Victoria $28
Like bottling Rosie O'Donnell, a ripe-fruit full-bodied mouthful.

X. Blackwood Ridge (Plunkett Wines)
1999 Pinot Noir
Strathbogie Ranges - Victoria $19
Sweet, peppery and spicy. Tom Cruise in drag. (Maybe that's why?)

X. Braewattie
1998 Pinot Noir
Macedon Ranges - Victoria $29
The Home and Away kids perfect drop, raspberry, oak and cherry bubble gum.

X. Cleveland
1998 Pinot Noir
Mt Macedon - Victoria $30
James Bond, as he was in Goldfinger - concentrated, warm spicy nose with lots of alcohol and tannin and rather a raw finish.

Xx. Dalrymple Vineyards
1999 Pinot Noir
Pipers Brook - Tasmania $25
Spicy, dense, with high alcohol, acid and a good weight. A pinot that thinks it's a shiraz, only it'll always be too slick.

XX. Diamond Valley
1999 Pinot Noir
Blue Label Yarra Valley - Victoria $23.50
Attractive feminine nose, quite simple and petite, a bit one-dimensional but pretty and very drinkable. Kate Moss with or without accessories, the result is the same.

XX. Dromana Estate
1999 Pinot Noir
Mornington Peninsula - Victoria $30
Plums, earth and barnyard animal smells with a palate as delicate as silk. Making smooth, smooth love on the farm.

X. East Arm
NV Pinot Noir
Tasmania $30
Sweet with spicy fruit on the palate and quite jammy. Like wearing a 'fro when you ain't got one, it's not the typical style but funky stuff.

Xx. Eldridge Estate
1999 Pinot Noir
Mornington Peninsula - Victoria $30
Five spice nose, red fruits clean and fresh with an underlying complexity. A racy little number with innocent eyes like Olivia Newton-John - she knows way more than she lets on.

X. Hickinbotham
1998 Pinot Noir
Family Reserve Mornington Peninsula - Victoria $28
Rose petals with a touch of five spice - his and hers aromas at Red Earth.

X. Island Winery
1998 Pinot Noir
The Nobbies Adelaide Hills - South Australia $26
This one's been stirred with a Choo Choo bar.

Xx. Tuck's Ridge
1998 Pinot Noir
Red Hill - Victoria $25
Soft, young perfumed and open, pretty fruit, with reasonable length. Kylie about 10 years ago.

Xx. Yarra Ridge
1999 Pinot Noir
Yarra Valley - Victoria $30
Nose of silk and berries before a zesty, acidic palate held up by some good wood. The latest lingerie models party, er, hard at the Playboy mansion.

$35 and Up

X. Gembrook Hill
1997 Pinot Noir
Australia $40
Barnyard, cherry fruit. Thin lean and opaque. Picture Barbie after a ten day fast and well before there ever was a Ken.

X. Massoni
1998 Pinot Noir
Mornington Peninsula - Victoria $35
Vegetal with some spice, like a Neil Young re-mixed by the Spice Girls.

XXx. Paringa Estate
1999 Pinot Noir
Mornington Peninsula - Victoria $45
Clean, great length and very well-balanced. Slick and long enough to be a porn star but it's just way too together.

X. Rippon Vineyard
1998 Pinot Noir
Rippon Vineyard Central Otago - New Zealand $44
Concentrated fruit with tobacco leaf with a curvaceous fruit splash. The kids from Dawson's Creek try to roll their own ciggies.

X. Rochford Wines
1999 Pinot Noir
Phillip Island - Victoria $35
Berry, cherries, raspberries, fruits, reminiscent of the pie eating contest in Stand By Me - cherries everywhere.

X. Salitage
1999 Pinot Noir
Western Australia $36
Beetroot and spice, dark cherry with some acid. The punch at the local health food shops Christmas party.

Xx. Yarra Ridge
1998 Pinot Noir
Reserve Yarra Valley - Victoria $35
Wantons and sweet chilli sauce on the nose before a well-woven palate of spicy red fruits, a very persistent finish. A Chinese smorgasbord vitamised and served in a glass.