| BADBREATH
Can't find a gift to save your life? How 'bout your friends' life? Yes, it's finally here - the Digital Alcohol Detector BT3500. The handy dandy personal gift that'll tell you just how much hooch you've swallowed so you don't go drivin' off drunk.
Well, the fact sheet claims this device measures a person's blood alcohol concentration. I tested this little gizmo and, unless I was coughing up blood, here's what I got: after tasting and spitting a dozen wines (the normal Wine X tasting panel regimen) I registered a .09.
Yes, my friends, I'm a cheap date. I didn't feel drunk, so I rinsed my mouth out with water and tried again. This time I registered .03. Much better. Then I brushed my teeth. Now, I was back to .00. Go figure. (Obviously it measures the amount of alcohol in your mouth, not your blood.)
Moral of the story: never, ever drive drunk. But, if you wanna know where you stand with the law, you may want to pocket this puppy. If nothing else, it's a great party gift.
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